"This place is curious, this place is a non place. It’s not located in some secret corner of the soul, since there are no secrets; it’s actually devouring the entire inside, projecting itself on the outside… gaining substance, encouraging stings, thirst and hunger all around."
- Natura Principia
feel her… although she’s not mine anymore, I feel her hand around the soft
pillow she’s hugging so dear. I feel her finger toes sliding on the cold sheets
of her bed in an attempt to get warmth. Her leg shivers from the touch of the
silk bedding she’s so comfortably enjoying. She sleeps next to someone else,
and even after all these years past, I still am a part of her dream… our common
ground – inevitable loss and inexorable pain; both defining us in ways we can’t
in the depth of my thoughts, obsessed with Ahab’s blindness I long for her with
each and every corner of my dark soul; with all these cells of my irrelevant worthless
being I desire to be with her and only her. Like some black pearl stuck for
eons in a carved shell planted deep within the ocean’s darkness, her face
remains stuck in my wrinkled wretched soul. Her absence makes me empty; each
day passed without her restrains me in heavier chains, and I grow only older.
Always when my thought flies away towards her direction, darkness surrounds me
and I start to feel sharp pain in the chest with every breath I take… and most
of my days she dwells in my thoughts. In this cursed prison of mine, all I got left is
her smile will never belong to me once more… it shouldn’t ever belong to me!
Her happiness must never be shared with this meaningless young man with
destroyed look and lost youth.
should rot in hell and boil in hot tar just for thinking about her…
should be a princess of all living things, a woodland sprite… not a mistress...