"This place is curious, this place is a non place. It’s not located in some secret corner of the soul, since there are no secrets; it’s actually devouring the entire inside, projecting itself on the outside… gaining substance, encouraging stings, thirst and hunger all around."
- Natura Principia
realm is warped; it’s twisted somehow, thrown out of dimensions, independent
from time. It exists somewhere beyond the borders of this known nature, this
everyday surrounding; resting diabolically in its accelerating behavior, truly
wicked by origin… indescribable, possibly incomprehensible. It stands beyond any disease
of the mind, beyond any mental illness known so far. Somehow it’s shaped into
some form of occupation, a way of existence, an obsession which can be
possessed so savage and selfish, a possession (nonetheless) though wild in its
character, accepted with such a brute despite its freedom of being. It’s all I
have, my identification: this restlessness of mine, all mine!
against all this, something else circles from above, a certain contrast for
sure… It can’t be deciphered in dreams, since it stands across them, sometimes
within them. It’s a chase, troubling me, tormenting me, destroying with some
sort of gentle touch the entire fabric of this vicious me. If I wouldn’t accept
it as a calling, I’d understand it as a plot against me, threatening to annihilate
me, to transform me into invisibility of existence. And all this calm, this
home so desired, a calling which seduces full of nothing but love for which I yearned so
deeply… am I truly the one who deserves it? Am I to forgive myself and accept
it, relinquishing myself of all those troublesome burdens which came to pass
and existed within symbiotically? And forgiveness… could I do that to myself…?
since my guilt… that despicable bitch of a guilt is out of proportion, my guilt
is beyond any repair! It’s mine, all fuckin’ mine!
you that beautiful, graceful and noble to adopt me as yours? Are you the one offering
me a new rebirth, a haven from the diabolical me? Somewhere, somehow… in ways;)