I, occult
Woman infiltrates beneath this deep cover of rough manhood, both
openly and subversively, on a conscious and unconscious level. Her world of
scents, subtle gentle presence substituting: my dirty ways, my corrupt nature,
this vulgar filth of mine… when she starts to be the bigger part of me, I
become more. She is an icon of my deviation towards good and better… and I like
that, her dominion in my world, when she begins and never ends, when she
becomes the first and most important reason why to love life! So, I’m seduced
to my core, and I belong again…
A part of my filth in vulgarity, my perversity in adoring her is
always present on an unconscious level; they arise when she gives herself to
me, the only way a woman knows – totally. Thus she becomes my occult
exaltation, and I begin to love even more, to a point when my sentient self is
no more, ego is gone. And then from my deep dark dungeons something escapes, my
primal scream, my wretched self… a highly volatile creature depraved beyond
measure, corrupted further away from understanding, defiant presence against
change...the fiend inside breaks loose.
And I become a necessary betrayal, a desperate act of infidelity
toward her and myself. I deserve all consequences which follow my treacherous
nature, her gradually moving from scorn to wrath and ruin. Her own demise from
the disappointment in me is translated as a sharing destruction, we become bits
and pieces of ourselves…
And then, when loss is the only thing that remains, I become that
presence which is missing, her hope that one day… maybe!?
Whoa...
ReplyDeleteMaybe..one day I can breath again
ReplyDeletedear... in the best of my nobility... I hope you can, I hope you will...
Delete