Monday, February 11, 2019

Human, I am

I’ve, kind of always, had a perfectly balanced idea that cause inexorably leads to an effect. I’m well aware of causality, paradoxes of consequences… and indeed, I’ve also known of high moral ground, what it represents, how it affects destiny. There has been understanding about well tuned chain of thoughts, and how thought influences actions. And beneath all of this, deep in the limbo laid a complete conscience, overwhelmed with high emotional intelligence…

A long time ago I’ve made my choices to live a life purified from braces of control and external influences, fully exiled into true freedoms and liberties of human existence. Most of the time my ways were not guided by higher norms of morality, by bifurcations of causality, or by calculated chain of thoughts and actions. Curiosity has shown me that there are no roads out there, only racetracks. In many times this has lead me to sense the darkest depths of despair and sharp pain. Despite that, I am overwhelmed with happiness all these years. Thus I’ve created an environment that has been transformed as a consequence of what I am. In these excommunicated ways I have found myself and my true worth. You see, the all or nothing days are never ending, they just transform in an occult manner with growth of perception, with rise of the being.

… there’s evidence in these thoughts:*

Sunday, July 1, 2018

All those women inside me

There’s a constant presence, an outside body nested firmly where I’m supposed to exist… here, in the calmness of the depth where I’m created. Her world, subtle and unique, tender and soft, romantic in its core, brutally real in the connection with mine. She’s a chunk of my worth, physically attached to my body carried in my making, with every step I take, in every word I make. Even in the blue of my eyes, she’s there… and this lasts for years by now, when most inhales carry her name.

And I’m that fool who fails to think of, but I don’t need to… in parts, I’m her.

That Sheitan:*

Ahhh, all those women inside me!

Saturday, June 23, 2018

Achieving flight

Creative energy is exploding all around, building fresh worlds in the appearances of the one we already live in, changing all inconsistencies in a spectacular manner, they become irreversible. In this spectacle of living, in this bifurcation knot, whatever happens never happened before. Results are overwhelming in all directions, they impose incredible pace. It’s unclear to me how constant growth of my reality is accomplished. I guess I’m a diligent perpetrator, a thorough giver, a dedicated alchemist altering reality on a large scale… I don’t know, but I’m not going to waste a single second trying to understand what led to this or where it’s going to take me, I’m simply going to enjoy the hell out of it.

This time I achieve flight… again… much higher than before!

In such uncanny state, I spy with my blue eye… everything in sight!

Thursday, December 14, 2017

In the jugle

This city lives in pollution, nice and thick, it blocks everything in sight; and all dark alleys fucked up with graffiti on the walls become the centre of all centres, testing our yearn for vices, this craving we have to do some more sin... and what happens there, stays there, protected and secure in the conscience of the city. Not in ours, we don’t have it anymore… conscience…

These fumes, they’re created from our disappointments, and they grow vast further out in time. We have no idea where we’ve been, and we hardly give a decent fuck where we’re going. In this jungle where everything is erased but the exaltation in our need for greed, we’re chased only by ourselves. Here, in this den, nature met its doom – it found us; here, our lungs are filled with poisonous air, when our diseases grow in numbers, come, we got them all.

… remembrance of what we were, even that is lost. Things we’ve lost are measured in people… in this sad little blue marble we call home, people are treated like things, accessories.

… and I am that Corto, incorrigible romantic, who still feels happiness beyond description to my heart from our strength in numbers… the only baggage that I carry is the gold of my faith in love, so I love some more.

Sunday, September 24, 2017

... autumn of our saga

Hopes gather, they vibrate surrounding me with their signals for instant karma; arriving from my north, merging themselves quite elegantly with the freedom in my dreams… so that I can have options once more, fresh fortune in another autumn of my saga.

Way too many structural reforms of my soul tissue have already invited themselves in, in an age when soul poverty is extinct and long forgotten. Changes reshaping me on a cellular base, I can feel those added chromosomes to the niche, enriching me. All those thirsty fiends inside me roaring in restlessness for this new age, my age of plenty… when I have options once more, in another colorful autumn of my saga.

And into the core of all these sensations lies a true woman, safe and secure, protected with my substance of life; giving me purpose, defining me… when my options are firmly situated within her, when our freedoms merge in this state of two… in another autumn of our saga.

Friday, September 15, 2017

My warrior woman

All this thirst for your beauty inside me, alluring in its core, so compelling, beckoning, chasing me… so I follow my instinct and release myself to your calling; I am your possession to have, willingly. My water, my savage queen, warrior woman, my Valkyrie – nothing ever compares to you!

And when I try to take a deep breath, you’re that burning sensation filling my lungs with hot air, so that I can never have enough of you. In each moment succeeding, I’m becoming even more addicted to you, and this lasts, forevermore – only to mark the beginning of this Anthropocene, like you mark my flesh with your fires and furies.

Enwrapped in such passion, I’m obsessed with your occult lust… so I bite back!


Monday, August 28, 2017

When I breathe what you breathe

With a freshness of a mountain spring I quiver finding the path to my secret sea. In this everlasting breakthrough against elements of nature, my fireplace is closer and closer, and all those worlds beyond…

Suns extinguished so that new ones could be created from ancient sparks, lives passed by only to feel another rebirth… but the dreams for the woman never appeased, they roared fiercely in the depths of my untamed core, forevermore.

The ember was inflaming when the thrill of the hunt gained only in strength. In that ancient struggle, identical for every new generation, whispers echoed on the inside that I’m getting closer and closer in my search for my female equivalent.

And here comes this dream for a smile that returns all specters of light in my eyes. This look which awakens shady reveries from the past. A touch that restructures my build in a calm embrace, as a port offering home for all my wrecks of ships… when her kiss renews all freedoms of my soul.

And I’m recreated there, skin on skin, from centres of the brain all the way until edges of my fingertips. This electric current hurling through my cell structure carries her name, so that this skin I live in is her undoubted dominion, undenied.

In this most desired comfort, when I breathe what she breathes, I’m happy at last… only because she sleeps there with me:*

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Brave New Worlds

Your tender loving eyes release my pain inside, all those whole desires left undone, yet belonging to you, totally. Years changed and transformed into new seasons, when time lost its meaning, for you mark an age in this bare destiny of mine, and I can never hide – never from you. Times never pass, they grow into something else and my desire to belong gets only stronger, you’ve changed me by making me so much more. You’ve stamped the right side of the heart, nested yourself there ruining me for other women. Even this world has changed in my attempt to divide myself into two, so that a part of me will never be missed over there in your brave new world, in that new place you call home, in that bed where you knit your dreams from that soft essence you’re made of; and that other part of me stays here in my naked existence, dormant in a dreamless state, all those dreams stolen with your tender affection… I can never again dream without you.

And I’m never here, I’m somewhere else:*

Monday, July 24, 2017

Eyes without a face

In the soul centre of my wicked intentions there are derelicts of my broken psyche, eyes without a face… rapid tendencies granting me lapse of memory, seduction in forgetfulness; and this is not because I’m absent minded, I’m just easily distracted by abstractions of my objective reality, when most of them never wear any panties. It’s my own fault that I can be seduced and left beyond repair… then again, I need no corrections, I’m already guilty enough, I’ve crossed all lines of soul maintenance… to be more precise, if the apparent line is here, where I sit at this very moment, I’m somewhere safe, far south of the border, some place nice in sunny Mexico.

All these infidelities gather and nest in the simplicities of the complexity which I represent, so that I can be left lost in my own ignorance, only to stand sharp for even more betrayals; and this is not because I lack loyalty and sense of belonging. It’s my own fault that I can be easily confused and left amazed in a temporary astonishment for every two legged personal hell which crosses my route to nowhere, wearing heels and looking just great in a light summer dress.

I should be tortured by these mixed emotions, by my contradictions in appearances. A sensible human being would say that I should’ve learned something, but all I’ve learned from these derelicts of my broken psyche is only to respect that dark part of me… eyes without a face.

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Steep ridge of life

Tomorrow never comes until it’s too late, all mistakes are already expedited into full reality. And this madness rules the deviant residue of thoughts as a consequence of this moral corruption, a madness that can never be undone. In the heat of the summer, jacked affection for living remains, twisted as it is, perverted to the bone, only another form of stability.

Years by now mark this living on the edge, occult dancer maintaining steady balance on the steep ridge of life, choosing willingly insomnia that also can’t be undone. Because days are way too bright, and nights are only short for what needs to be done. Actions have erased any trace of lines, and what lies ahead can’t be taken into account, nothing is predictable anymore, it beckons… all awaits undreamed.

In the forgotten need for silence of my untamed astonishments…