Human, I am

I’ve, kind of always, had a perfectly balanced idea that cause inexorably leads to an effect. I’m well aware of causality, paradoxes of consequences… and indeed, I’ve also known of high moral ground, what it represents, how it affects destiny. There has been understanding about well tuned chain of thoughts, and how thought influences actions. And beneath all of this, deep in the limbo laid a complete conscience, overwhelmed with high emotional intelligence…

A long time ago I’ve made my choices to live a life purified from braces of control and external influences, fully exiled into true freedoms and liberties of human existence. Most of the time my ways were not guided by higher norms of morality, by bifurcations of causality, or by calculated chain of thoughts and actions. Curiosity has shown me that there are no roads out there, only racetracks. In many times this has lead me to sense the darkest depths of despair and sharp pain. Despite that, I am overwhelmed with happiness all these years. Thus I’ve created an environment that has been transformed as a consequence of what I am. In these excommunicated ways I have found myself and my true worth. You see, the all or nothing days are never ending, they just transform in an occult manner with growth of perception, with rise of the being.

… there’s evidence in these thoughts:*

Our thirst to know

In our multimillennial search we’ve discovered objects of adoration thoroughly uncovered to the last fabric of their making. According to what we learn we are able to form a picture of our closest as well as most far surroundings, and then our thoughts gain shape when imagination becomes reality. In our curiosity we’ve encountered things leaving us stranded in our confusion, projections of a truth unable to fit into any model we place into order of the chaos that is nature. And this reality we inhabit can no longer be observed through already established means, we stand isolated from everything and anything in our cosmic playground, our base. Vast distances and time are ever eluding complexities still unknown to us.

And there’s hardly room for a step back, there is this thirst for knowledge pushing us to the limits of our capabilities… it’s simple, we just have to know.

The mechanism of life

In such a world where numbers are beyond count, the joy of human presence is most celebrated and always dearly welcome. Deserts and hardened secrets of the silence are only abstract nouns, inapplicable in such a world in which the quest for what’s lost is meaningless as the effort itself, because new experiences uncover beauty able to surprise every cell of the mechanism of life.

Humanity in its root doesn’t recognize defeat; curiosity is the force which pushes only outwards, far from the comfort and warmth of home, in an undefined place where thoughts are born from sparks, across the known abyss of human fears and suffering. In this state, where noise is made out of colours, we learn, constantly improving concepts of existence, only to realize that there lies nothing designed to be kept in secrecy, safe and secure. There is but one truth and no interpretations of it, all historians are long gone. We forge our future.

In every corner of our world, beauty is guided by immense information overflow and vivid exchange of human interactions, life thrives outside balance… breathtaking!

Pigments of the madness surrounding me

Orderly defined pixels of thoughts forming in my conscience, uncovering paths with potentials beyond imagination, challenging even desires. Curiosity dictates overwhelming need for speed, no roads only racetracks, introducing concept of no gravity as a guiding rule of law in such a picturesque world… when obvious attractions are seducing all senses openly and most welcome. Like a psychotropic substance slowly depositing on the spine, when in summer…

This blue eye devil is a sin in your time, bringing along with him spiral of dirty intentions and even more vices; with a soul pledge to threaten and destroy your tamed self. I am that wicked denomination erasing your carefully and diligently built borders, only to replace them with infinity. This titan is rising from a myth and warping into life destroying every stone of your high keep into nothing but rubble.

Tasty treat standing tall by opposing moral standards, occult by default and forbidden by choice. Pigments of the madness surrounding me…

 

High winds above

In this darling convenience of living, enriched with feelings of satisfaction and happiness, both of them leading us toward peace, unity, goodness at heart. Deep underneath the skin we live in, there lies nobility at the essence of our characters. A life becomes a collection of our high spirits, year after year, until thousands of eons have passed, so that we can be what we are today.

All of us, associates in this world between the sea and the mountains, a world within worlds, times and spaces; created from fabric colored with curiosity, entangled with our capacity to love. And with this world we share the same soul, for all of us own elements of magic, magic created from ancient angelic materials long ago forgotten, those mothers of creation.

And for such a world I yearn, in a darkened room full of green light, above the world of men, in this high hide of mine. I dare to look outside, where morals are depraved beyond understanding, and with a premeditated intention I stop looking at the ground beneath me and I look at the sky, there a cloud catches my blue eye… so I start to think of a name for a shape that moves and adapts to the high winds above.

Twenty nine days of February

Ancient shout in this sentient tremor of mine, preprogrammed exclamation for targeted visions of never fully developed potentials, leaving me with unsound thoughts of unclear futures. Living in this comfort of convenience I realize that through experiences and expressive interpretations of my actions, I meet my actual complexity in my simplicity... in this world, where sun appears every day on the same side for eons by now, I’m moving through constant reshaping and occult transformations, just like this winter in another leap year.

In here, in my room with green light, between the lake and the mountain, my fabric is colored with curiosity, never evanescing me into conformity, always persisting me into the unfamiliar. Spring to me, right now, in my April at the start of my February with twenty nine days…

Curiosity is chasing...

Nature represents unity of complexities, conditions and systems which are expressed through interaction of matter with itself under the influence of four basic forces, and through processes of maintenance and perseverance of energy. It is an overall system composed of countless processes taking place simultaneously, and run by: bifurcations and causality, the principle of uncertainty and the arrow of time. Chaos and disorder represent local features of nature and not its absolute attributes. In its evolutionary development nature through: irreversibility, instability, chance and probability; from chaos and disorder pursues balance and order.

Because of its irreversible feature, nature that we inhabit is devoid of symmetry. Irreversibility in its domain hides instability and randomness, and its origin is a fundamental concept which lies unequivocally from the evolution of nature and essence of existence.

In our attempt to analyze and understand nature, we must make it clear that there is no place with divine attributes enabling us to observe totality of reality. Perspectives of an overall reality may change quickly enough, so that our senses may not be in a possibility to perceive true form of nature.

Curiosity is chasing…

The game is afoot

Forces are running amok, deranged as they are, completely out of control conquering what’s left from our daylight – unavoidable consequence in these times when we replace fears with curiosity. We extinct any brake that has even a remote possibility to undermine us into the forgotten unknown, for we own a need for speed. On this threshold we stand tall, looking only at our dreams in the endless wide before us. This path is made of us, safeguarded only by means of our imagination. Here and now, unexplored reverie of every alchemist of old.

Love is never lost and dreams are never left in ruins, they perpetually thrive, and we are in a state of constant bloom.

The game is afoot, and we’re ready… as a matter of fact, we were born ready!

Living!

It’s inevitable consequence gained from our curiosity, we flood ourselves in things bigger than us, whether it’s: some surreal financial construction, or alluring sculpted figure of a woman, sometimes it’s a realization of a critical professional moment, or a beginning of a proletariat of some sort – usually it’s a combination of many things, vivid and tempting, translating themselves within themselves, creating a unique model of life for each individual out there. And we push ourselves, accelerating the percussion of the moment, testing the limits… and remarkably, the coupling withstands everything and anything. It’s the way we’re forged, sometimes we become more, sometimes we diminish. With each and every gain, we lose something else. We’re merchants of life, without even knowing.

Nonetheless, we gamble because we want to win. We know that reasons matter, even though the concept of causality is not always correctly applicable when it comes to us, because we’re capable to twist reality and achieve a paradox of existence by creating model of life where consequences precede reasons.

Whatever it is, whatever comes… it’s most welcome!

Incredible!

Challenging youth with curiosity, pushing and learning with feelings, beyond needs. No roads, only racetracks. Existential imperfection in life, but with knowledge that wealth and happiness always arrive promptly when they appear from the inside. A strength of will, birthmarks of wisdom, the power to believe and take appropriate actions, ideals of purity and home of everything that is regarded as good, superlatives in human behavior, exemplary notions of beauty, smile... fucking hell, this girl is far beyond academic interest, is this arousal that I feel!? 

All of this, and more, packed in such a petite body, in a most beautiful youth. I stand here impressed beyond faith, with a smile, (and believe it or not) utterly speechless, she has just brought me back to school… and she, only with her twenty something years of age, stands across any believe which I hold as most firm, challenging in rush everything that is me… she beckons! I’m compelled to consider myself invited…

Twenty Tens

Deep distant echoes of my voice murmuring gibberish, advising me for something of high significance, something that I find equally pointless. The full satisfaction of not knowing, and the curiosity of taking another path, just because I can, a path more secret and less known.

The poets of old sing in their long forgotten faith for showers of beauty and grace found only in perfection, divinity and what’s known; but I’m not after innocence and nobility, romantic notions of hope. It’s the twenty tens, and hope has forsaken all lands in this world. In this youth, we chase for imperfection, through mistakes and sins we strive to learn and become more.

It’s difficult to accept that life operates outside order, because that way the Lord’s free will and his almighty power would be disrupted, God would have no meaning in a chaotic universe. And his freedom intended for us is our condemnation, a prison of the heart bricked from even more gibberish. 

So, I choose to be subversive and move like an ocean current. In my occult heathen excommunicated ways I aim to reach our true selves, my heresy is toward any cage attempting to free us from choice. Not to waste resources on hope, but to create and improve overall alchemy of life.

Forevermore

Regardless of the origin, my nonselective nature accepts memories; ticklish sensations twisting me untidily even more with everything and anything, in everything and anything. Wireless connections unraveling true human nature, vivid in its totality, wild and free. In these eyes, rainbow is made out of anything, and colors were never exiled from this soul. So I love, forevermore…

Because in this youth, right now, impatience and curiosity truly are an asset… they drive fast in an even louder groove. Burning, because I can…

In here the tide is always high, and that stormy sea out there is beckoning. So, you see… I am welcome!