Incredible!

Challenging youth with curiosity, pushing and learning with feelings, beyond needs. No roads, only racetracks. Existential imperfection in life, but with knowledge that wealth and happiness always arrive promptly when they appear from the inside. A strength of will, birthmarks of wisdom, the power to believe and take appropriate actions, ideals of purity and home of everything that is regarded as good, superlatives in human behavior, exemplary notions of beauty, smile... fucking hell, this girl is far beyond academic interest, is this arousal that I feel!? 

All of this, and more, packed in such a petite body, in a most beautiful youth. I stand here impressed beyond faith, with a smile, (and believe it or not) utterly speechless, she has just brought me back to school… and she, only with her twenty something years of age, stands across any believe which I hold as most firm, challenging in rush everything that is me… she beckons! I’m compelled to consider myself invited…

Love, again

So many feelings felt, so many spoken words, all those overwhelming smiles... and only one look, only one you, and one me.

In this heat of life, in our beauties of youth… light in the soul, grace in a word, compassion in a scent, and forgiveness of the woman – love from the woman.

And I no longer remain drunk from a white lake of tears in empty hunger for happiness, there’s no more defacing pain snatching the blue out of these eyes, that deep despair in dreams is gone, no more mute cramps in the heart...

I adore your eyes, the way they see, and I… I turn into you ;)

Smile, yours and mine;)

Natural order of things is irreversibly altered through implementation of alchemy, by transforming rust and inertial forces of time into life… life, finding its path from the breathless bottom all the way up to the breathless surface and into the heights. An everlasting sinusoid of breathtaking paradoxes, all of the bottoms and heights of oneself… inexorably splendid and marvelous by design, in their own strange ways.

And the smile always remains, as an end and beginning of things… smile, overt as it is, a doorway to our breathless souls… a soul irreversibly seduced by twisted witchcraft of the dark arts, and another thrilled by the enchantment of what can be only described as divine and pure. Corruption and innocence, creating the cupola of us, yours and mine…

The contradictions of this synergy of ours, angelic substance against an occult spirit… this moment, vast only in ecstasy, as it is… still ours, yours and mine;)

Ladies first:*

A touch draws that line which separates reality from dream. There is something warm in it, inviting and most dear. I open my eyes slowly, very cautiously. I see her naked contours clearly on the pale crescent moonlight. I’m easy, so I don’t resist and obediently submit to her mild orders and I succumb into the full luxury that is her. Balls deep…

She still has some remnants of the delicious strawberries on her bottom lip, and I can still bite the taste of the passing day from her sweet smile; always a constant smile on her pretty young face, even when she sleeps. But, she’s not sleeping now;)

In this moment consisted of that entire beauty firmly caught in my midst, from the depths of her sigh she silently speaks a soft sound in my ear… I think that’s my name;)

Ahab and Her

I feel her… although she’s not mine anymore, I feel her hand around the soft pillow she’s hugging so dear. I feel her finger toes sliding on the cold sheets of her bed in an attempt to get warmth. Her leg shivers from the touch of the silk bedding she’s so comfortably enjoying. She sleeps next to someone else, and even after all these years past, I still am a part of her dream… our common ground – inevitable loss and inexorable pain; both defining us in ways we can’t even imagine.

Sank in the depth of my thoughts, obsessed with Ahab’s blindness I long for her with each and every corner of my dark soul; with all these cells of my irrelevant worthless being I desire to be with her and only her. Like some black pearl stuck for eons in a carved shell planted deep within the ocean’s darkness, her face remains stuck in my wrinkled wretched soul. Her absence makes me empty; each day passed without her restrains me in heavier chains, and I grow only older. Always when my thought flies away towards her direction, darkness surrounds me and I start to feel sharp pain in the chest with every breath I take… and most of my days she dwells in my thoughts. In this cursed prison of mine, all I got left is only time…

But her smile will never belong to me once more… it shouldn’t ever belong to me! Her happiness must never be shared with this meaningless young man with destroyed look and lost youth.  

I should rot in hell and boil in hot tar just for thinking about her…

She should be a princess of all living things, a woodland sprite… not a mistress...